literature

welcome, winter

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brokenfragilethings's avatar
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Literature Text

i feel bare, he said,
pressed leaves to his branches
and prayed the world would just
look away.
you are stripping us naked.
i'm trying to keep myself together.

-
changed "prayed the world just looked away" to "prayed the world would just look away"
better? worse? it's a little thing but? 
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Comments18
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This is beautiful, winter is one of my favourite subjects to write about. (And trees too, though none of my tree pieces are posted here.) I do agree with the other comments, I prefer it without the "would". There seems to be more depth behind it that way, it allows a little more flexibility to the reader's comprehension. (Just my opinion, it works well either way.)